Ever feel like you’re not good enough?
I have, with most of my endeavors in life. Especially in the past couple of months. The reason I haven’t written my feelings down in a long while is because I have been drowning in several of them. My heart and soul has been a melting pot of emotions, and although I usually am, it is even more heightened lately because… I just started a new job.
Sounds exciting, right? Only, I wasn’t supposed to get the job. They were supposed to take a look at my writing samples, old and outdated video reels, and immediately realize that I would have no idea what I was doing and move on to the next, more impressive applicant. At least, this is what I was absolutely sure of. So, after my interview, I started looking for other opportunities. I was just so sure…. Until I received their email… and they offered me the job.
Talk about negative self-talk.
My confidence in the inevitable rejection for this position was a result of my FEAR.
FEAR that I wasn’t good enough.
FEAR that I didn’t know what I was doing.
FEAR that everyone else thought the same way.
So, blindly I went into the office everyday, with uncertainty about what is lurking around each corner and sweating through every blouse I wore. And to my surprise, I was accepted. All of my capabilities, inabilities, and potential. The process of being ‘thrown into the wolves’ has been both a terrifying and gratifying experience. I am forced to verbally say things like, “I don’t know how to do that,” and, “I need help.”
Yikes! How vulnerable you become at that moment. How absolutely nerve-wracking to be face to face with your fear…
FEAR will make you say things to yourself that you would never say to someone you love. It is contagious and will eventually seep into other parts of your life if you allow it. For years, I was plagued with my fear of feeling inadequate and unintelligent.
Little did I know how worthy I was of this opportunity.
I’m so grateful for this experience of being face to face with my fear and not being able to shy away and hide from it. It is allowing me to confront and overcome. It is allowing me to grow, to learn, and more importantly, to prove myself wrong.
Fear is part of our evolution.
What are your thoughts? What are you afraid of? How has fear played a part in your journey?