First Impressions


What do you think of you?

I met someone today.

That someone told me that they had recently come across a photo of me. And I cringed. Literally, my face scrunched up and the sound that came out of my mouth was anything but pleasant. This reply only lasted for about one second, but it was probably enough to let that person know what I thought about myself.

Their first impression of me, was this short, one second response and unfortunately, this has been a normal reply for when someone tells me they have just seen my picture, read a piece I’ve written or seen a video I filmed.

I’ve always believed that what others tell me reflects who they are and what they think. But, I never truly related that belief to what I’m radiating to people.

Though I have always been proud of the person I am, my self-esteem has consistently been a work in progress and my reaction to the reality of someone glancing at a photo of me mirrored this. I immediately started questioning the whole situation:

They saw a photo? Which photo?

What was I wearing?

What did they think of me?

Yes, I am an over-thinker. And not only did my overthinking lead me to those questions, but I felt as though I had to impress them with my personality afterwards. Because, somehow, simply seeing a photo of me didn’t do justice to the person I am or what I can offer them.

Amid this spiritual journey, I know there is nothing good that can come from these impressions I leave. For me or for others.

It is possible to have confidence and battle with low self-esteem at the same time.

Self-confidence is our view on our own abilities to do something. Self-esteem is our perception of ourselves, usually as a result of social norms and what we believe ourselves to be.

For years, I have placed my confidence at the utmost importance knowing that if I wanted to succeed, I had to believe in my ability to do anything. It has helped me tremendously when it came to going after my dreams. But, I never realized that my comparison myself to other people’s standards was crippling and manifesting it’s way into my life through my conversations, my actions, and my thoughts or self-talk. My self-esteem was being pushed aside.

How am I radiating love and acceptance when I’m unconsciously showing people that I do not love and accept myself in all forms? And what the hell does it matter anyway?

Social norms are a thing, but they’ve never mattered to me, so I shouldn’t continue to measure myself against them. That photo is an echo of me; no makeup, no filters; in my truest form at the time. It was a direct product of how I present myself to people. I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I shouldn’t be ashamed of me.

And you shouldn’t be ashamed of you.

Believing, loving, and accepting ourselves are some of the most powerful traits a person can posses and also the most challenging when we’re worrying if others believe, love, and accept us.

Other people’s thoughts are just that, their thoughts. In no way should they hurt you or concern you because, at the end of the day, YOUR thoughts come to bed with you.

New Year’s Resolutions are not my thing, but from today on, I will continue to remember this message and I hope it helps any of you who are dealing with similar situations…

Do you also struggle with wavering self-esteem? What methods or techniques do you use to keep negative self-esteem at bay? I’d love to hear from you.

With Light,




2 thoughts on “First Impressions

  1. Jus Me says:

    Hi again. I really dont remember how i felt or thought about what other people think about me. I can say now in this stage in my life i really don’t care at all about what others think or feel about me and i feel so comfortable, content, satisfied & happy with myself. I am proud of the person i am today. I think highly of myself,i am confident in myself and the way i look. In this life you have to feel that way about yourself cause no one else will. Im not living for other people. Im living for me cause some people will try to break you down but if you are confident in you, it won’t matter one way or another what other people think. Although i said what i just said, i do ask myself those questions when some one tells me they saw my pc. Not that i care what they think but i want to know & remember if that was one of my good pic because we all take lots of pics of ourselves. Some we like & some we may not like. But if a person says they saw my pic, most likely they liked what they saw…..I hope i didn’t get of topic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • peaceloveeffey says:

      You didn’t get off topic at all I love that this article could help you think about how much you do love who you are! I think it’s beautiful that you’re at a stage in your life where other’s opinions mean nothing to you, isn’t that what we’re all after? I aspire to be like you and have that mindset soon. It’s becoming a practice in my every day life and practice makes perfect right? Thank you again and much love to you!


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